The answer: Because you are a human being and your weight and size don’t define your worth. Weight and size are features, just like gender, race, and religion. And none of these features define your worth or lovability.
Hating yourself, your body and your weight will just put you into a negative loop that only serves to increase mindless eating that will hurt your body more. Self-loathing will serve no purpose nor end goal. Hating yourself and/or your body will result in neglecting both your mental and physical well-being. Be kind to it; don’t hate it. Your body is doing a big effort taking you to places, working, moving about and generally doing its job. Be happy. You are allowed to feel happy even though you are obese. You are allowed to feel good about your body even though you are obese.
If you hate your body, you probably won’t be kind to it. You will torture it with unhealthy foods and lack of moving. Every now and then, you change the torturing regime into minimal energy intake and excessive exercise, also known as dieting. Your poor body. Stop hating it, and start respecting it. You only have one, so could you maybe give it some love?
And how can you show that love? Consider your mental and physical well-being first. Even though you have kids, or a demanding job, or both, you can treat yourself well. The better you feel, the better you are at your chosen challenges. If you are totally worn out by your everyday life, you won’t be a good mother, employee, daughter, or whatever it is you want to be.
And how do you treat yourself well, whether you are obese or not? Sleep enough. You can cut that time out from Netflix and social media easily. Move. You don’t have to go to the gym if that’s not your pudding. Take a walk in a forest. Or go window shopping in a mall. Or go to a museum and take in the art; you’ll feed your soul and get some gentle exercise at the same time.
Calm down and find the beauty in the world. Your commute to work does not have to be stressful. Allow enough time. Keep your eyes open and admire the scenery. Read (not if you’re driving, of course) or listen to a book.
If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you’ll probably need time. At least for me, quick diets have only led to weight gain in the long term, so I am trying the slow method now. And that requires accepting myself. This is how I am now, and this is how it’s going to be for a considerable amount of time. Yet not forever. This is my body, and I can love it. It has suffered decades of maltreatment, but it has still managed to stay in good health. It has served me well, and I hope it serves me well for many more decades still.
I think my body is so valuable, so good and so hardworking, that it deserves all the help I can give it. I deserve it. Despite my weight, I can feel good. I can live well. I can sleep enough. I can go to the gym. I can walk in the forest and work at our summer cottage. I can play with the puppy. I can eat food that tastes good and is good for me. I can have happy, positive thoughts. I can feel good about myself. And so can you.